1 00:00:05,051 --> 00:00:07,331 Can we get an update on what's shakin' out over there? 2 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,001 It'd be great to get a clearer idea 3 00:00:09,041 --> 00:00:10,601 of what you've been doin'. 4 00:00:10,641 --> 00:00:11,961 Up your game, like the guy said. 5 00:00:12,001 --> 00:00:14,451 Maybe buy a suit with normal length arms. 6 00:00:14,491 --> 00:00:15,961 Do you think Clive Owen would wear that? 7 00:00:16,001 --> 00:00:18,041 - Fran thinks I'm having an affair. - What? 8 00:00:18,081 --> 00:00:20,281 She wants to meet with you and sort it out. 9 00:00:23,601 --> 00:00:24,881 This is-- 10 00:00:24,921 --> 00:00:25,961 No! 11 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,831 No, I asked you the one simple thing. 12 00:00:28,871 --> 00:00:29,971 - Fuck off! - Oh, tell me to fuck off. 13 00:00:29,991 --> 00:00:31,441 Yeah, I'm telling you to fuck off. 14 00:00:31,491 --> 00:00:32,761 That reminds me. 15 00:00:32,801 --> 00:00:35,561 We really should go ahead and pull the trigger on the wedding. 16 00:00:35,601 --> 00:00:38,081 Should I make an appointment at the registry office? 17 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,601 I don't know if I want to do it at a registry office. 18 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,961 - Why not? - Well, bec-- 19 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,321 It's embarrassing but when I was 19 20 00:00:45,361 --> 00:00:48,121 this Polish guy who used to come into the restaurant where I worked at 21 00:00:48,161 --> 00:00:51,041 he paid me to be a witness at his registry office wedding. 22 00:00:51,081 --> 00:00:53,041 You were a witness whore? 23 00:00:53,081 --> 00:00:55,481 Yeah, well, 50 quid. 24 00:00:55,521 --> 00:00:57,401 Anyway, he took us all to TGI Friday afterwards, 25 00:00:57,441 --> 00:01:00,041 and he and the English girl he married, they got beyond pissed, 26 00:01:00,081 --> 00:01:02,321 and he fell over and broke his jaw on a urinal. 27 00:01:02,361 --> 00:01:03,641 - How the fuck? - I don't know, 28 00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:04,841 and since I was the least drunk person there, 29 00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:06,241 I had to take him to the hospital. 30 00:01:06,281 --> 00:01:08,161 He freaked out and kicked a nurse in the stomach, 31 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,921 and then he threw a wheelchair at a vending machine. 32 00:01:09,961 --> 00:01:11,561 - Wow. - Yeah. 33 00:01:11,601 --> 00:01:13,761 So, you know, I don't want our wedding to be like that. 34 00:01:13,801 --> 00:01:15,321 Yeah, me neither. 35 00:01:15,361 --> 00:01:17,681 The last big wedding I went to was my sister's. 36 00:01:17,721 --> 00:01:19,121 300 people. 37 00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:20,841 That was the one I shat my pants at. 38 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,281 Oh, yeah. 39 00:01:22,321 --> 00:01:23,801 What'd your sister think about that? 40 00:01:23,841 --> 00:01:26,121 She didn't care for it. I mean, nobody did. 41 00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:28,641 I think after the fact, for anecdotal value, 42 00:01:28,681 --> 00:01:29,860 people were glad it happened. 43 00:01:29,861 --> 00:01:30,881 Yeah, of course. 44 00:01:30,921 --> 00:01:33,761 But, you know, I wouldn't do it again. 45 00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:35,361 Yeah, we don't have to have 300 people, 46 00:01:35,401 --> 00:01:37,201 you know, just some family and friends, 47 00:01:37,241 --> 00:01:38,721 - and a few Scotch eggs. - Hmm. 48 00:01:38,761 --> 00:01:40,001 What do you think? 49 00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:41,321 You up for doing something more than 50 00:01:41,361 --> 00:01:43,961 a sad transaction in a gray building? 51 00:01:44,001 --> 00:01:46,601 - Definitely. - Great. 52 00:01:46,641 --> 00:01:48,201 What'd you think if I asked your mother? 53 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,881 Sure. Go ahead. 54 00:01:49,921 --> 00:01:51,761 I mean, I will say, if she wasn't my mother, 55 00:01:51,801 --> 00:01:53,561 I definitely wouldn't invite her. 56 00:01:53,601 --> 00:01:56,081 I mean, just 'cause she's not fun. Or nice. 57 00:01:56,121 --> 00:01:57,501 Yeah, we don't have to have her on our table. 58 00:02:03,201 --> 00:02:05,561 I love watching young couples argue. 59 00:02:05,601 --> 00:02:06,841 I can't keep my eyes off of 'em. 60 00:02:06,881 --> 00:02:08,061 I hope he hits her. 61 00:02:09,321 --> 00:02:11,281 And then the cops Tase him and he falls in the river. 62 00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:12,361 Now you're talkin'. 63 00:02:12,401 --> 00:02:13,721 If we ever sound like that, 64 00:02:13,761 --> 00:02:16,201 please get a gun from America and shoot us both. 65 00:02:16,241 --> 00:02:17,761 We sound like that all the time. 66 00:02:17,801 --> 00:02:19,201 Do we? 67 00:02:19,241 --> 00:02:21,521 Yeah, but we've got real problems. 68 00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:27,161 Hang on a second. 69 00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:29,401 I've been at Fry and Loeb for 11 years, 70 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,746 and you're gonna fire me for making you a shit load of money, 71 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:32,931 and opening a UK office? 72 00:02:32,961 --> 00:02:34,121 We're not firing you. 73 00:02:34,161 --> 00:02:36,761 I mean, we are, unless you want to come back to Boston 74 00:02:36,801 --> 00:02:38,721 where you have an office and clients. 75 00:02:38,761 --> 00:02:42,001 I get that my current setup isn't conventional, but-- 76 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:44,841 You're right, it's not conventional. 77 00:02:44,881 --> 00:02:46,961 By the way, are you in a college dorm? 78 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,961 You know what? Fuck you, Mark. 79 00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:50,561 Hey, Rob. Look, come on. 80 00:02:50,601 --> 00:02:52,601 And Tony, fuck you for being a nice guy, 81 00:02:52,641 --> 00:02:54,321 and workin' with this fuckin' asshole. 82 00:02:54,361 --> 00:02:55,601 You know what, Mark? 83 00:02:55,641 --> 00:02:57,241 When I heard that Greg had a stroke, 84 00:02:57,281 --> 00:03:00,121 my first thought after being sad for his family, 85 00:03:00,161 --> 00:03:02,161 was that I wish it had been you, you conniving cunt. 86 00:03:02,201 --> 00:03:04,481 No. He can't talk to me like that. 87 00:03:04,521 --> 00:03:07,881 And Tony, you better make sure that I get a nice severance package, 88 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,801 or I'm gonna come there and kick Mark's ass in front of that receptionist 89 00:03:10,841 --> 00:03:13,201 that he sexually harasses for three hours every day. 90 00:03:13,241 --> 00:03:17,441 And Mark, you can-- 91 00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:22,481 Is he done? 92 00:03:29,521 --> 00:03:31,241 Hey, how was your day? 93 00:03:31,281 --> 00:03:32,681 Shit. 94 00:03:32,721 --> 00:03:33,961 How was yours? 95 00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:36,601 Good. It was good. Very good. 96 00:03:36,641 --> 00:03:38,281 - Tea? - Yeah. 97 00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:40,161 It's just tough at the moment 98 00:03:40,201 --> 00:03:45,121 because I don't smile for the first few months of the school year. 99 00:03:45,161 --> 00:03:48,521 I mean, you really can't. If they smell weakness, they just-- 100 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,161 It's like putting chum in the water for sharks. 101 00:03:51,201 --> 00:03:54,321 But it's hard because there's this new lad 102 00:03:54,361 --> 00:03:56,841 with thick glasses and one big eyebrow, 103 00:03:56,881 --> 00:03:59,361 and I just really want to smile at him. 104 00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:01,841 - Can I have a wagon wheel? - Sure. 105 00:04:01,881 --> 00:04:06,041 Hey, I was thinking how great it is that our kid is gonna have two cultures, 106 00:04:06,081 --> 00:04:08,401 can two countries that he can spend time in. 107 00:04:08,441 --> 00:04:09,761 Hmm. Yeah. 108 00:04:09,801 --> 00:04:11,441 I mean, especially when he's a baby. 109 00:04:11,481 --> 00:04:14,201 I mean, we'll be able to just bounce back and forth. 110 00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:16,321 Mm. 111 00:04:16,361 --> 00:04:20,441 You know, it might be worth thinking about basing ourselves in Boston for a while. 112 00:04:20,481 --> 00:04:23,561 I mean, it's cheaper by probably about 500 percent. 113 00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:26,561 Why are you saying this to me? 114 00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,641 I was let go from my job today. 115 00:04:28,681 --> 00:04:30,561 - What? - It's fine. 116 00:04:30,601 --> 00:04:32,761 They only let me go 'cause it wasn't working out here. 117 00:04:32,801 --> 00:04:35,011 I mean, they would have kept me forever back there. 118 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,801 Not that I'd go back to that shit shop 119 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:40,681 when they wouldn't give me 20 minutes to even plug in my fuckin' computer here. 120 00:04:40,721 --> 00:04:42,961 But I could work anywhere in Boston. 121 00:04:43,001 --> 00:04:46,201 Everyone in advertising knows me there. 122 00:04:46,241 --> 00:04:47,841 I don't want to live in Boston. 123 00:04:47,881 --> 00:04:49,161 Why not? 124 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:52,681 Because it's Boston. 125 00:04:52,721 --> 00:04:56,201 I mean, once you graduate to a place like London or New York, 126 00:04:56,241 --> 00:04:58,681 you don't regress to Boston. What's even there? 127 00:04:58,721 --> 00:05:02,121 And, you know, my family's here, my job, my friends. 128 00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:06,081 Yeah, I had all that, too. And now I don't even have a job here anymore. 129 00:05:06,121 --> 00:05:08,521 And do you think our baby would like to eat, for example? 130 00:05:08,561 --> 00:05:10,601 'Cause I'd like to be able to buy it food, 131 00:05:10,641 --> 00:05:13,361 and I was issued a very specific work visa, 132 00:05:13,401 --> 00:05:15,121 not a sit-around- on-a-couch visa. 133 00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:16,961 Yeah, okay. It's terrifying. 134 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:18,961 But, you know, just take a minute. 135 00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:21,191 Don't go making crazy decisions for us. 136 00:05:21,201 --> 00:05:22,641 I will help you. 137 00:05:22,681 --> 00:05:25,441 And we'll sort it out, but we have to sort it out here. 138 00:05:25,481 --> 00:05:28,121 And, you know, I mean, just to be practical, 139 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,361 you can't fly when you're this pregnant. 140 00:05:30,401 --> 00:05:32,241 Isn't that just the last trimester? 141 00:05:32,281 --> 00:05:34,601 You can't fly to Boston at any point during your pregnancy. 142 00:05:45,761 --> 00:05:47,081 Yes! 143 00:05:47,121 --> 00:05:49,841 I feel like a fucking god here. 144 00:05:49,881 --> 00:05:52,041 Brits don't have bowling in their veins like we do. 145 00:05:52,081 --> 00:05:54,321 It's like being Super Man on Earth. 146 00:05:54,361 --> 00:05:59,961 Hey, listen. I wound up parting ways with my company in the US. 147 00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:01,761 I was wondering if you knew of any job leads. 148 00:06:04,881 --> 00:06:07,521 Take that, the Queen. 149 00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:10,081 Did you hear about that heart drug Tevantrix 150 00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:12,121 that killed all those people a couple of months ago? 151 00:06:12,161 --> 00:06:13,801 - No. - Oh, good. 152 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,201 Well, I'm on the board of the company that makes it, 153 00:06:16,241 --> 00:06:19,361 and their putting together a kind of messaging task force, 154 00:06:19,401 --> 00:06:21,761 you know, to teach the public that they do stuff other than kill people. 155 00:06:21,801 --> 00:06:24,001 - Oh, Jesus. - No, they're good guys. 156 00:06:24,041 --> 00:06:26,641 My pal Harita is the senior VP of marketing, 157 00:06:26,681 --> 00:06:31,241 and I guarantee that she will see you if I tell her to. 158 00:06:31,281 --> 00:06:32,961 So what do you think, man, you want me to hit her up? 159 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,281 I guess, yeah. 160 00:06:35,321 --> 00:06:38,001 I need money and a visa, so yes. 161 00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:40,521 Well, all right. 162 00:06:40,561 --> 00:06:42,361 Thank you. 163 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:43,441 I owe you one. 164 00:06:46,521 --> 00:06:49,961 Have you ever heard of a prostate massage? 165 00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,321 I'm not massaging your prostate. 166 00:06:51,361 --> 00:06:53,321 No, I don't want you to massage my prostate. 167 00:06:53,361 --> 00:06:55,281 I want you to come with me to this place I know 168 00:06:55,321 --> 00:06:57,281 where we can both get our prostates massaged. 169 00:06:57,321 --> 00:06:59,161 I went there a couple of weeks ago. 170 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:03,481 I'm telling you, man, it is easily the best orgasm I have ever had. 171 00:07:03,521 --> 00:07:06,041 And before you say anything, it's not gay. 172 00:07:06,081 --> 00:07:09,121 That's like eighth on the list of why I don't want to do it. 173 00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:11,081 But they do put something up your butt, right? 174 00:07:11,121 --> 00:07:12,241 Way up. 175 00:07:12,281 --> 00:07:13,601 It kinda hurts. 176 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,961 'Til they start massaging the old prostate. 177 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,521 Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. 178 00:07:18,561 --> 00:07:19,841 Oh, come on, man. 179 00:07:19,881 --> 00:07:22,601 Come on, spend some quality time with me. 180 00:07:22,641 --> 00:07:26,081 My dad died a few weeks ago. 181 00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:27,641 Et cetera. 182 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,201 Your dad died, et cetera? 183 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,041 Yeah, I don't really want to talk about it. 184 00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:33,321 Just... 185 00:07:33,361 --> 00:07:36,161 come and get your butt fucked with me. 186 00:07:36,201 --> 00:07:37,201 Help me heal. 187 00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:44,361 - Hello? - Hello, is this Mia? 188 00:07:44,401 --> 00:07:45,401 Yes, it is. 189 00:07:45,441 --> 00:07:47,761 Mia, this is Sharon. 190 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,681 Um, from London. 191 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:51,721 Rob's Sharon. 192 00:07:51,761 --> 00:07:54,881 Oh. Yes, of course. How are you? 193 00:07:54,921 --> 00:07:57,601 I'm okay, thank you. Nice to speak to you. 194 00:07:57,641 --> 00:07:59,081 I know we'll meet sooner or later 195 00:07:59,121 --> 00:08:01,441 I just wanted to introduce myself. 196 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,440 And also to invite you to our wedding. 197 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,721 Oh, my goodness. 198 00:08:04,761 --> 00:08:07,361 Yeah, we're-we're gonna get married properly, 199 00:08:07,401 --> 00:08:09,841 so if it's something that you wanted to attend, 200 00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:12,001 then we'd be very happy to work around your dates and-- 201 00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:14,081 You know, I really-- I don't fly well, 202 00:08:14,121 --> 00:08:16,161 and I-- I can't leave my dogs, so-- 203 00:08:16,201 --> 00:08:18,121 Oh. Would it make any difference 204 00:08:18,161 --> 00:08:21,361 if I told you we're not just getting married because I'm pregnant? 205 00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,961 Yeah, we-- we really like each other, 206 00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:25,921 and also, he needs a visa. 207 00:08:25,961 --> 00:08:29,001 Whatever the reason, it's just such wonderful news. 208 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,361 I'm just so glad that Rob has found someone 209 00:08:31,401 --> 00:08:33,431 after everything with Betsy. 210 00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:34,841 Who's Betsy? 211 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,721 Betsy? His ex? 212 00:08:36,761 --> 00:08:38,521 You know, after Betsy miscarried, 213 00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:41,321 it was very hard for both of them. And me. 214 00:08:41,361 --> 00:08:43,361 - What? - He must have told you. 215 00:08:43,401 --> 00:08:47,481 No. Um, I have to say I think that's very insensitive of you. 216 00:08:47,521 --> 00:08:49,921 I am currently pregnant, after all. 217 00:08:49,961 --> 00:08:52,401 - Well, I didn't mean-- - Oh, no, I think you did. 218 00:08:52,441 --> 00:08:54,841 Jesus, stick the knife in phone call number one, why don't you. 219 00:08:54,881 --> 00:08:56,001 Sorry? 220 00:08:56,041 --> 00:08:58,281 You know what? I rescind my invitation. 221 00:08:58,321 --> 00:09:00,041 That means I take it back. 222 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,361 You're not invited. 223 00:09:03,401 --> 00:09:05,481 Hello? 224 00:09:05,521 --> 00:09:07,761 I hope your dogs get leukemia. 225 00:09:10,561 --> 00:09:12,321 Are you chewing gum? 226 00:09:12,361 --> 00:09:14,271 Take it out, put it in the bin. 227 00:09:19,541 --> 00:09:20,681 Hi. 228 00:09:20,721 --> 00:09:21,811 Hi. 229 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,251 So, I got a job interview today. 230 00:09:25,281 --> 00:09:26,961 Great. 231 00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,971 And, uh, I checked out that place you like for the reception by the canal. 232 00:09:29,981 --> 00:09:31,491 - And I think that-- - You never told me you got 233 00:09:31,511 --> 00:09:34,041 another woman pregnant. 234 00:09:34,081 --> 00:09:36,841 Uh, well, I didn't-- 235 00:09:36,881 --> 00:09:39,361 - Did my mother-- - Yeah. 236 00:09:39,401 --> 00:09:41,601 - Was it on purpose? - What? 237 00:09:41,641 --> 00:09:44,001 Was it an "oh, no, whoops" pregnant like me, 238 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:48,281 or was it a "let's make a baby" pregnant like normal people? 239 00:09:49,761 --> 00:09:52,041 Does it matter? Look, as big as this is, 240 00:09:52,081 --> 00:09:53,321 I had a life before you. 241 00:09:53,361 --> 00:09:54,721 Yeah, I knew you fucked other women, 242 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,601 I just didn't know you fucked babies into them. 243 00:09:56,641 --> 00:09:58,801 - Jesus. - And you meant to do it with Betsy. 244 00:09:58,841 --> 00:10:00,241 You know, that was premeditated. 245 00:10:00,281 --> 00:10:02,801 I was like a-- a second degree pregnancy. 246 00:10:02,841 --> 00:10:05,841 You just got drunk and drove into a crowd of women and got me pregnant. 247 00:10:05,881 --> 00:10:07,201 A second degree pregnancy? 248 00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:08,521 Why didn't you tell me? 249 00:10:08,561 --> 00:10:10,961 What would you have done with that information? 250 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:14,321 If the baby had been born, I would have told you. 251 00:10:14,361 --> 00:10:16,041 But it wasn't. 252 00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:17,361 Okay. 253 00:10:17,401 --> 00:10:18,881 Sorry. 254 00:10:18,921 --> 00:10:20,361 Well, don't be sorry. 255 00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:22,831 - Jesus, can I explain? - No, it doesn't matter. 256 00:10:22,851 --> 00:10:24,001 Just forget it. 257 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:27,961 I might have insulted your mother a little bit on the phone. 258 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:29,401 Like how? 259 00:10:29,441 --> 00:10:31,321 Tell me how, 'cause I want to do a different, 260 00:10:31,361 --> 00:10:33,401 more hurtful insult when I call her. 261 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:41,761 Yes? Hello? 262 00:10:41,801 --> 00:10:43,641 Hi, Mia. It's Sharon. 263 00:10:43,681 --> 00:10:45,361 Uh, from London again. 264 00:10:45,401 --> 00:10:47,041 I saw that it was a UK number. 265 00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,441 I just thought it was Rob calling to yell at me again. 266 00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:51,281 I'm-- I'm sorry about that. 267 00:10:51,321 --> 00:10:54,001 And sorry for saying that you couldn't come to the wedding. 268 00:10:54,041 --> 00:10:55,841 Of course we want you to come. 269 00:10:55,881 --> 00:10:59,081 Well, I don't think Rob wants me to come, so-- 270 00:10:59,121 --> 00:11:00,361 No, of course, he wants you to come. 271 00:11:00,401 --> 00:11:02,401 Well, I can't leave the dogs. 272 00:11:02,441 --> 00:11:05,481 No, that-- that's fine. Just, you know, want you to know that 273 00:11:05,521 --> 00:11:07,001 if you could come to the wedding 274 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,251 you'd be welcome. 275 00:11:09,761 --> 00:11:14,161 By the way, do you have Betsy's surname? 276 00:11:14,201 --> 00:11:15,851 It's just, um, 277 00:11:15,891 --> 00:11:19,161 I thought it'd be a nice gesture to invite her along because, 278 00:11:19,201 --> 00:11:23,001 you know, we just want everybody to be there. 279 00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:26,161 You know, a lot of my ex-boyfriends will be coming. 280 00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:28,721 Well, not a lot, but maybe three. 281 00:11:28,761 --> 00:11:30,521 - Ostroff. - It's Os-- 282 00:11:30,561 --> 00:11:31,801 - Ostroff. - That's O-- 283 00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:35,201 O-S-T-R-O-F-F. 284 00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:38,161 Well, you know, if Betsy's gonna make the journey, 285 00:11:38,201 --> 00:11:39,561 then maybe I should come. 286 00:11:39,601 --> 00:11:42,121 I would just love to see her. 287 00:11:42,161 --> 00:11:43,401 What about the dogs? 288 00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,441 - Well, I-- - And the thing is, 289 00:11:45,481 --> 00:11:48,041 I want to ask her but, you know, it's a numbers game, 290 00:11:48,081 --> 00:11:49,641 so that could all change. 291 00:11:49,681 --> 00:11:51,681 And I'm actually at school at the moment, 292 00:11:51,721 --> 00:11:54,361 so I'm gonna have to-- It's lovely talking to you. 293 00:11:54,401 --> 00:11:55,501 Hello? 294 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,641 Please let it be you. 295 00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:23,801 Oh, good for you. 296 00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:30,121 You're not better than me. 297 00:12:44,321 --> 00:12:46,721 I just came in to get my workbook. 298 00:12:46,761 --> 00:12:47,941 Well, get it then. 299 00:12:58,441 --> 00:13:01,801 I'm sure Dave's told you a little about what's been happening here. 300 00:13:01,841 --> 00:13:03,721 Blow back hasn't been as bad as it could have been. 301 00:13:03,761 --> 00:13:05,841 It was only older men who died. 302 00:13:05,881 --> 00:13:07,441 Focus groups we've done since have shown 303 00:13:07,481 --> 00:13:09,241 they're the least missed demographic. 304 00:13:09,281 --> 00:13:12,201 I mean, a child dies and understandably people get really upset, 305 00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:16,121 but four or five guys in their 70s, it's like... 306 00:13:16,161 --> 00:13:18,481 sad but also... 307 00:13:18,521 --> 00:13:19,801 c'est la vie. 308 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,121 Well, that's-- Wow. 309 00:13:22,161 --> 00:13:26,241 I mean, I guess if you're going to be allegedly responsible 310 00:13:26,281 --> 00:13:28,801 for some people not being alive anymore, 311 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:32,561 uh, then old men are the best ones. 312 00:13:32,601 --> 00:13:34,921 I think the one that really hurt us was the astronaut. 313 00:13:34,961 --> 00:13:39,321 Okay, yeah, I did read about him. 314 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:42,441 So, what are your thoughts on how we might progress this? 315 00:13:42,481 --> 00:13:47,001 Well, I'm not sure people feel the same way about astronauts as they used to. 316 00:13:47,041 --> 00:13:49,241 They're not the heroes that they once were. 317 00:13:49,281 --> 00:13:50,881 I don't know if this made the news here, 318 00:13:50,921 --> 00:13:52,921 but a few years ago 319 00:13:52,961 --> 00:13:56,841 a female astronaut traveled across the US in a diaper 320 00:13:56,881 --> 00:13:58,961 with a bunch of weapons in her trunk 321 00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:01,041 to attack a love rival. 322 00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:05,681 So, you know, really, they're just like you and me. 323 00:14:09,601 --> 00:14:12,761 So, it pays really well, 324 00:14:12,801 --> 00:14:14,721 and they'd sort my visa. 325 00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:18,881 But the woman who interviewed me definitely sleeps in a coffin. 326 00:14:18,921 --> 00:14:23,441 Well, two out of three. 327 00:14:23,481 --> 00:14:25,081 And did you try? 328 00:14:25,121 --> 00:14:27,481 - What? - Big and Tall. 329 00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:30,361 No. I didn't go to the Big and Tall Modeling Agency. 330 00:14:30,401 --> 00:14:31,601 Why not? 331 00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:33,121 I think you should just go in. 332 00:14:33,161 --> 00:14:34,361 Just pop in. 333 00:14:34,401 --> 00:14:36,241 What would be the harm in just popping in? 334 00:14:36,281 --> 00:14:40,561 Well, I'm big and tall, but I'm not that big and tall. 335 00:14:40,601 --> 00:14:43,081 Well, I think you are. 336 00:14:43,121 --> 00:14:44,641 And now we'll never know. 337 00:14:46,681 --> 00:14:49,441 Listen, um-- 338 00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:51,161 I know I said I didn't want to talk about Betsy, 339 00:14:51,201 --> 00:14:52,631 and I understand why you didn't tell me, 340 00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,981 but to be honest, 341 00:14:53,991 --> 00:14:55,321 I just would have liked to have known, 342 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:58,121 because I'd hate for you to have to deal with a bombshell like that. 343 00:14:58,161 --> 00:14:59,641 So I thought before the wedding 344 00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:02,001 we should just get a few things out there, you know? 345 00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:04,121 So there's no skeletons in our closet. 346 00:15:04,161 --> 00:15:07,001 - Okay. - Okay. 347 00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:12,361 So, uh, um, I went out with a French guy, 348 00:15:12,401 --> 00:15:15,841 and I had two pregnancy scares with him. 349 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:19,241 And I considered moving to France. 350 00:15:19,281 --> 00:15:20,841 Oh, well, I mean, that's-- 351 00:15:20,881 --> 00:15:22,681 No, I haven't told you the thing yet. 352 00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:25,321 So, two pregnancy scares, considered moving to France, 353 00:15:25,361 --> 00:15:28,641 and when I broke up with him, 354 00:15:28,681 --> 00:15:30,161 he committed-- 355 00:15:30,201 --> 00:15:32,481 tried to kill himself. 356 00:15:32,521 --> 00:15:34,561 So I just wanted to tell you that. 357 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:39,081 You know, 'cause I'd hate for you to have to learn that from my mother. 358 00:15:39,121 --> 00:15:41,161 I'm not telling you that to scare you. 359 00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:44,041 Okay. Uh, are you sure that's why he did it? 360 00:15:44,081 --> 00:15:45,921 Because a lot of people who are depressed-- 361 00:15:45,961 --> 00:15:49,001 Yeah, I'm why he did it. 362 00:15:49,041 --> 00:15:51,921 Okay. Well, thank you for telling me that. 363 00:15:51,961 --> 00:15:53,321 Well, that's okay. 364 00:16:09,161 --> 00:16:11,041 What is wrong with him? 365 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,201 Happy birthday. 366 00:16:19,841 --> 00:16:21,721 Thank you. 367 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,481 Wow. I haven't had a birthday gift in a few year. 368 00:16:27,521 --> 00:16:30,601 You know, that I can open with paper and all that, 369 00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:34,641 so I don't even care what's in here. 370 00:16:34,681 --> 00:16:35,881 Oh. 371 00:16:35,921 --> 00:16:37,681 Actually, I do. I love them. 372 00:16:37,721 --> 00:16:40,481 Well, thank you. I made them. 373 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:41,841 You can wear them to dinner tonight. 374 00:16:41,881 --> 00:16:43,161 Just them and nothing else. 375 00:16:43,201 --> 00:16:44,641 Can I wear my maternity bra? 376 00:16:44,681 --> 00:16:46,041 It's just my tits are a bit sore. 377 00:16:46,081 --> 00:16:48,681 Well, okay, but that's it. 378 00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:50,881 No cake tonight. No candles. 379 00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:52,241 Don't want any waiters singing to me. 380 00:16:52,281 --> 00:16:54,401 Just makes me want to vom. 381 00:16:58,161 --> 00:16:59,401 What time is it? 382 00:16:59,441 --> 00:17:01,841 It's just after 7. 383 00:17:01,881 --> 00:17:04,401 Do you want to get under here and put another baby in me? 384 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:05,681 I can try. 385 00:17:11,761 --> 00:17:14,281 Hey, you're late, Heisenberg, let's go, man. 386 00:17:14,321 --> 00:17:17,401 Listen, I came here to thank you for setting up that interview, 387 00:17:17,441 --> 00:17:19,401 and to tell you I'm not doing this. 388 00:17:19,441 --> 00:17:21,290 What? Come on, man, we had a deal. 389 00:17:21,351 --> 00:17:22,391 We didn't have a deal. 390 00:17:22,421 --> 00:17:24,560 You did a nice thing for me and I'm grateful, 391 00:17:24,601 --> 00:17:27,881 but I never said I would let a stranger put anything up in my asshole. 392 00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,601 You gotta try this, man. It feels so good. 393 00:17:30,641 --> 00:17:33,001 I believe you, but now is not the time 394 00:17:33,041 --> 00:17:36,641 for me to pay a hooker to fuck my butt with an implement. 395 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,761 You do that after you've been with somebody for a long time, 396 00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,721 and you hate each other. I'm not there yet. 397 00:17:40,761 --> 00:17:43,921 Okay, well, you want to do something more low key? 398 00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,481 I mean, we could go get some lap dances. 399 00:17:45,521 --> 00:17:48,041 Dave, I don't want to do those things with you. 400 00:17:48,081 --> 00:17:49,881 What, you don't want big titties all over your face? 401 00:17:49,921 --> 00:17:52,401 Of course I do, but in my own home, 402 00:17:52,441 --> 00:17:54,681 not a strip club at lunchtime. 403 00:17:54,721 --> 00:17:58,561 Look, I can tell that you're a bit lonely or whatever. 404 00:17:58,601 --> 00:17:59,961 I'm not lonely, motherfucker. 405 00:18:00,001 --> 00:18:01,881 Well, whatever the case is, you know, 406 00:18:01,921 --> 00:18:04,281 you need some companionship or something. 407 00:18:04,321 --> 00:18:07,321 Listen, I'm having a party tonight for Sharon. 408 00:18:07,361 --> 00:18:08,921 Do you want to come? 409 00:18:08,961 --> 00:18:11,961 Uh, no, I can't tonight. I've got a thing. 410 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:15,201 All right, well, let's talk soon. 411 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:23,761 Rob. 412 00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:27,881 Uh, where is it? Just in case. 413 00:18:56,281 --> 00:18:59,441 So I've had a wee trim, threw on my best cologne, 414 00:18:59,481 --> 00:19:02,401 so I can give Sharon a birthday kiss she'll really enjoy. 415 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,321 Now we're kissin' each other's wives. 416 00:19:04,361 --> 00:19:07,001 Oh, hey, Chris, you have to know 417 00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:09,281 that was an accident. 418 00:19:09,321 --> 00:19:11,321 It was a hug that I think she-- 419 00:19:11,361 --> 00:19:12,801 Not that it was her fault, it's just-- 420 00:19:12,841 --> 00:19:13,961 I'm just takin' the piss, man. 421 00:19:14,001 --> 00:19:15,641 I'm glad you did. 422 00:19:15,681 --> 00:19:19,481 She came home and fucked my knob off after that. 423 00:19:19,521 --> 00:19:21,201 You're my hero as far as I'm concerned. 424 00:19:21,241 --> 00:19:23,641 Oh. Well, good. Oh, okay. 425 00:19:23,681 --> 00:19:26,361 Uh, thank you, and I'm sorry. 426 00:19:26,401 --> 00:19:28,281 I'm still kissin' Sharon, no. 427 00:19:28,321 --> 00:19:30,561 - Hiya. - Hey, glad you could make it. 428 00:19:30,601 --> 00:19:32,081 Where's Mallandra? 429 00:19:32,121 --> 00:19:34,721 Oh, sorry, did I not say? She didn't want to come. 430 00:19:34,761 --> 00:19:36,761 Are we early? There's more people comin', right? 431 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:39,281 No, this is it. And-- I know, I-- 432 00:19:39,321 --> 00:19:42,281 It's just, I don't know a lot of her friends. 433 00:19:42,321 --> 00:19:44,521 I'm not optimistic she'll be thrilled. 434 00:19:46,801 --> 00:19:48,521 - Rob. - Hey, Fran. 435 00:19:48,561 --> 00:19:50,201 So great you could come. 436 00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:52,721 You know the last birthday of Sharon's that I went to 437 00:19:52,761 --> 00:19:57,641 we ended up taking some mushrooms of the magical variety. 438 00:19:57,681 --> 00:19:59,921 Ended up getting our clitoral hoods pierced. 439 00:19:59,961 --> 00:20:01,961 Won't be doing that again any time soon. 440 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,841 Are you fucking kidding me? 441 00:20:03,881 --> 00:20:07,641 - Hey! - Hey. Hi! 442 00:20:07,681 --> 00:20:10,321 Thank you. For doing this to me. 443 00:20:10,361 --> 00:20:11,561 - Come here. - Hi, hi. 444 00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:14,001 - Birthday girl. - Nice to see you. 445 00:20:20,081 --> 00:20:22,121 Thank you. 446 00:20:22,161 --> 00:20:25,601 Hey! Sorry we're late. 447 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,401 This is, um, my friend. 448 00:20:27,441 --> 00:20:30,161 Um, happy birthday. 41. 449 00:20:30,201 --> 00:20:32,921 41! 450 00:20:39,921 --> 00:20:43,001 Friday night's a tricky night for getting people out. 451 00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:45,761 Yeah, yeah, that's maybe what it is. 452 00:20:48,601 --> 00:20:50,201 Well, this is humiliating. 453 00:20:50,241 --> 00:20:52,201 That's exactly the response I was hoping for. 454 00:20:54,091 --> 00:20:55,421 Let's not do the big wedding. 455 00:20:55,441 --> 00:20:56,561 Is that all right? 456 00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:57,641 I mean, look around you. 457 00:20:57,681 --> 00:21:00,041 I have a petite circle of friends. 458 00:21:00,081 --> 00:21:01,441 You have one friend. 459 00:21:01,481 --> 00:21:04,641 He's probably gonna OD before we get married. 460 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,441 And if you had any idea what something costs 461 00:21:06,481 --> 00:21:08,201 when you put the word wedding in front of it. 462 00:21:08,241 --> 00:21:12,601 If you knew how much a wedding ham costs as opposed to a ham ham, 463 00:21:12,641 --> 00:21:14,201 you wouldn't want to be part of that. 464 00:21:14,241 --> 00:21:16,001 I just want a transaction in a gray building. 465 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,161 Okay. 466 00:21:18,201 --> 00:21:19,681 And then you can finger me in a cab 467 00:21:19,721 --> 00:21:21,441 on the way to TGI Fridays. 468 00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,441 I'd like that. 469 00:21:23,481 --> 00:21:24,881 Good news, buddy. 470 00:21:24,921 --> 00:21:28,921 Harita from Braeband called. She wants you. 471 00:21:28,961 --> 00:21:33,761 She's gonna send you an offer letter on Monday. 472 00:21:35,881 --> 00:21:38,841 Oh, goddammit! 473 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,441 I don't care. 474 00:21:40,481 --> 00:21:42,481 I don't care! 475 00:21:42,521 --> 00:21:44,281 - Happy birthday. - To the happy couple. 476 00:21:44,321 --> 00:21:46,561 - I mean, to the-- - Happy birthday. 477 00:21:53,481 --> 00:21:54,761 That was a long come for me. 478 00:21:54,801 --> 00:21:58,801 Yeah, that was-- Wow. 479 00:21:58,841 --> 00:22:00,921 Oh, could you just wipe your-- 480 00:22:00,961 --> 00:22:02,281 Yeah. 481 00:22:12,561 --> 00:22:14,921 I keep thinking about you getting another woman pregnant. 482 00:22:14,961 --> 00:22:17,041 - Oh. - And I'm not being obsessive, 483 00:22:17,081 --> 00:22:18,761 and-- and I understand why you didn't tell me, 484 00:22:18,801 --> 00:22:20,601 it's just... 485 00:22:20,641 --> 00:22:22,121 I've never actually liked anyone enough 486 00:22:22,161 --> 00:22:23,561 to want to have a baby with them, 487 00:22:23,601 --> 00:22:28,481 and you did and it just messes me up a bit. 488 00:22:28,521 --> 00:22:30,881 Well, listen to me. 489 00:22:30,921 --> 00:22:33,161 My life was smaller then. 490 00:22:33,201 --> 00:22:35,161 I worked next to Betsy for six years, 491 00:22:35,201 --> 00:22:37,081 and then I found myself dating her, 492 00:22:37,121 --> 00:22:39,041 then we were living together because it was cheaper, 493 00:22:39,081 --> 00:22:41,281 and I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. 494 00:22:41,321 --> 00:22:43,001 Babies started appearing in my world, 495 00:22:43,041 --> 00:22:45,241 so it seemed normal to try, 496 00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,041 and she got pregnant, 497 00:22:47,081 --> 00:22:49,801 and then, in rapid succession, she miscarried, 498 00:22:49,841 --> 00:22:52,801 and I found out she'd been hiding her Jewishness from me. 499 00:22:52,841 --> 00:22:54,361 - What the fuck? - I'm kidding. 500 00:22:54,401 --> 00:22:56,161 And I know I shouldn't be kidding right now 501 00:22:56,201 --> 00:22:59,241 because, yes, I was sad when she miscarried, 502 00:22:59,281 --> 00:23:00,761 but it was tempered by the fact 503 00:23:00,801 --> 00:23:02,921 that I was happier not being with her. 504 00:23:02,961 --> 00:23:06,121 And then you blew into my life like a fuckin' hurricane, 505 00:23:06,161 --> 00:23:09,881 and FYI, sex with her was, at best, nice, 506 00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:12,761 but you induce like a medical condition in me, 507 00:23:12,801 --> 00:23:14,801 and I had to be inside you for like a week. 508 00:23:14,841 --> 00:23:16,161 You fucked me up. 509 00:23:18,641 --> 00:23:21,281 I have to tell you something. 510 00:23:21,321 --> 00:23:23,121 One of the first nights we were together, 511 00:23:23,161 --> 00:23:25,041 you made this weird sound when you came. 512 00:23:25,081 --> 00:23:27,361 Like, normally you're all grunty and "arrr," 513 00:23:27,401 --> 00:23:31,201 but this one time you made this weird, high pitched kind of feminine, 514 00:23:31,241 --> 00:23:32,321 kind of-- 515 00:23:32,361 --> 00:23:33,921 And I don't know if you remember, 516 00:23:33,961 --> 00:23:36,241 but one of the days I didn't call you until like 9 p.m. 517 00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:37,401 Yeah. 518 00:23:37,441 --> 00:23:40,081 Well, it was because of that.